In praise of Boobies

Sam is so much bigger every day, so much more alert. It’s mind-boggling that my body knows how to churn out this milk that he is growing on…. I’ve had this secret fear of all mothers that my milk is not good enough, that it is nothing more than sock water, water that socks have been soaking in, but Sam seems to be thriving even though he’s a pretty skinny guy. I’m going to have an awards banquet for my body when all of this is over.

Anne Lamott, Operating Instructions

With Jordan getting so close to starting solid foods I have been thinking about how our breastfeeding relationship is about to change. While I pine for the day I can wear a bra that actually supports me, and a shirt that doesn’t have a nursing panel, I don’t intend to force the babe into weaning next week. Still, I know that once we have a food regime we will be nursing less. It makes me consider how far we, dynamic breastfeeding duo that we are, have come since his birth.

Chris, in his chats with Jordy, will often say something to the effect of, “Look at you! You’re a big strong boy! And do you know why—because Mommy’s milk is so good!” At such times I take a look at my boy and am amazed that he is sustained solely on my milk!

At the time I didn’t blog about it but, despite all the reading I had done to prepare, it was no easy feat getting Jordan to figure out the latch. Standard Caesarean recovery time in hospital is four days, but the delivering doctor looked me over on day three and told me I looked well enough to be released if I wished; and all things considered, I felt fantastic! But I stayed because I wanted to maximize my time with the lactation staff. Well, the next day even though I was okay we had trouble persuading the attending pediatrician to release us; Jordan had lost 9% of his birth weight. He let us go on the condition that the public health nurse visit within 24 hours and that our doctor see us by week’s end. At that point we were hit or miss: sometimes nursing great, other times unsuccessful though my milk had come in.

Well, the day Rena (the public health nurse,) came, she watched us, was happy with the latch and tried to reassure us that a few bumps in the road were normal. But the session she observed would be the last time Jordan nursed for several days! By the time we got to see Dr. Davey the next day we’d grown concerned and had started cup-feeding pumped milk and formula to our little guy. Though the good doctor also tried to soothe us our distress was amped up yet again, because after that visit we started to see uric acid crystals in Jordy’s diapers. We increased the feedings, and switched to a bottle. Big Thanks to Rena for calling that day and advising me that nipple confusion is a smaller concern than dehydration. We were able to re-hydrate Jordan and Rena wrote a referral to a lactation clinic at Douglas College.

We continued to grind away but the formula was calling to me from the pantry. All my attempts at mental preparation for these “common” difficulties were for naught: I felt powerless and was close to quitting. Screw Mother Nature, she’d dropped the ball! How did babies survive if feeding was this hard? All I wanted in the whole world was to feed my son, and I was beginning to not care how. Chris kept me going, reminding me of my goals, not making me feel guilty if I opted to give Jordy the bottle, and generally cheering me on. I know I would have given up had it not been for my husband. It’s pretty cool that boobs can strengthen a family by teaching them about getting through the rough patches.

Suddenly at two weeks, I do not know what happened, but something clicked, and Jordan and I have been unstoppable ever since! Forgive me as I get sickly sweet here, though as someone who has made boob a verb (Give me the Boy, it’s time to boob ‘im!) I reckon I'm entitled to this rare lapse. Not long ago I looked into Jordan's eyes as he was feeding and asked him if he remembered the time when it wasn’t so easy. I know that he can’t understand the words, but he understood something because his eyes crinkled up, and his lips smiled around his latch and he touched my face. That kinda makes those horrible bras worth it.

Sometimes life hands you a diaper full of green poop

Sorry there hasn’t been much in the way of updates, we’ve been keeping quite busy. As I said in my last post, it has been incredibly difficult keeping Jordan’s hearing aids on him or at the very least keeping them on with minimal feedback. [Little side note here: I will probably be typing “hearing aids” a lot from here on out, I’ll abbreviate it as “H.A.” going forward.] They can’t be worn whilst nursing or napping (or bathing, I think should be quite obvious.) And they will squeal if he turns his head and pinches the tubing or loosens the ear molds just so, especially when there is always one that isn’t a super-snug fit. And of course, the one that is a super-snug fit isn’t much fun to cram into his ear canal. Since ensuring that Jordan associates as little negativity as possible with his H.A.s is important to us you can see how the whole business has been very tricky. We have put in his H.A.s every day but some days are better than others; sometimes he just wears them for a total of two hours, but the record is four. Today was one of his good H.A. days. We do our best to have some fun with the Little Dumer as soon as they’re on and running; we sing songs, read or look at picture books, play with toys or dance around and generally try to show him how great it is to have H.A.s in. We had a really great Sunday afternoon dance party, with Jordan doing the hand jive and Daddy trying to mimic him all to the sounds of Rolf Harris’ “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport” and “Iko Iko.” I am sure we made quite the picture! I felt guilty at first not being able to happily have him wearing his H.A.s every waking moment but I’m coming to understand it’s a process, and we are bolstered and encouraged by Selma and EHP liaison, Lori. In case anyone would like to hear it, I've added "Tie Me Kangaroo..." to the playlist, scroll down to the bottom of the page to choose it out of the list (it's good fun, mate!)

Chris and I have also made a decision about which interventionist program to sign up for. It sounds like The Deaf Children’s Society (DCS)will be able to meet all of our needs, they are extremely flexible, and it doesn’t hurt that we have a connection with the location with Chris working in Burnaby. We will be meeting up with the program director, Janice, tomorrow to get all the ducks in a row. You can read about DCS on the list of references to the left, or click on this link http://www.deafchildren.bc.ca/membership/index.html where you can even become a member for a small fee. You’d be supporting a group that supports Jordan and you even get a few perks like a newsletter, please consider it.

Let’s see, what other news do we have? Oh yes! It was a big day for the Dumaresq Family on Saturday! Mommy and Daddy went out together for the first time since Jordy was born! The Drivers babysat for us while we went to the movies to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. It was so fantastic to get away on a date! And it couldn’t have gone too badly for Mark and Aida, as they weren’t holding our baby and his diaper bag out to us to take as soon as we arrived to pick him up! They even said they’d be willing to do it again. Mommy wasn’t the least bit nervous; she was able to enjoy herself completely! We couldn’t think of anyone better than the Drivers to look after our boy the first time. Thanks guys!

Mark & Aida with the little Dumer. Jordan waves 'bye to us, but he's already interested in other things

And finally, it appears there are still some things I have to learn the hard way! A few days ago I noticed, as mums will do, that my boy’s poop had a slight green cast to it. I promise I will refrain from describing it in detail, and that all this poop talk will lead to a very good lesson learned in the end! But I digress.... This diaper-load caused me some concern so I googled breastfed-infant-green-bowel-movement. Hey! This is what the internet is for! What I learned is that this is often an indication that a breastfed babe is not getting all of the high-fat hind milk. For those who aren’t familiar with the wonders of human lactation, breast milk comes out in two stages: the thinner sweeter foremilk, and the richer high-cal hindmilk which is necessary for baby’s growth and development. It takes a while for a nursing babe to get to the “good stuff” and apparently I wasn’t allowing Jordy to do so. Apparently I made the somewhat common mistake of watching the clock and not the baby and switching him to the other breast after about fifteen minutes. Turns out this is kind of like making someone a fabulous steak dinner, but taking away the plate with the steak just after the salad was eaten. See, I had frequently heard surprised comments from others about how “long” the kiddo nursed, as if it was abnormal. And true enough, I had never seen another baby nurse as long as Jordy likes to. He did have a tendency to slow down around the fifteen minute mark and let me break his latch without a fight, so I thought I was doing the right thing. Well, what do I get for worrying about the opinion of others? A few diapers full of green poop, that’s what! Granted, I am not normally one easily swayed by nay-sayers. I allowed myself to be easily convinced because it’s so damn hard to sit still for long stretches of time with an infant latched on to my guns! I’m working on fixing the problem by allowing Jordan to control our nursing sessions. Rather than dislodge him, I wait for him to fall off the breast and I “block feed,” which is nursing on just one side any time in a three hour span that he wants to feed. His poop has since lost its green hue; it looks like mustard but its no-ot! I am learning so much from this little guy of mine! I am reminded that things are no longer about me, or the opinions of others but about my little Squirt and what he needs and wants when he needs and wants it. Someone once said that a perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house. Amen, brother.

Just call him LL Cool J - all the Ladies Love Cool Jordan!

Here he is with Catherine and Peggy, more of Mommy's Starbucks cronies.